Not Chosen
by Stormkpr
Summary: David Miller (father of Nathan Miller) deserved more than he got on the show, so here's my attempt at a worthy send-off.


The first thing David Miller became aware of was the rain. He'd grown used to it during the past few weeks, its relentless pounding followed by the shrieks when it hit - and then burned - human flesh. He gradually realized that he had been unconscious and was now waking up. David's throat felt smoky and his head throbbed. He opened his mouth but couldn't produce words yet.

"Finally," he heard someone remark, her voice coming across loudly over the ceaseless rain.

David opened his eyes. His vision was blurry but it began to clear, and he suddenly saw the face of a fellow member of the guard. A friend - in fact, probably his closest friend in the guard. Her name was Veronica Arizzi. Veronica was much like David: a middle-aged, reliable solider with no special skills. No reason to be among The Chosen.

"Wh – what happened?" David managed. "Where are we?"

"What happened is that most of Skaikru was knocked out by gas and tossed out of the bunker," Veronica said. Her voice was straight-forward and factual, with just a measure of bitterness. "The acid rain started falling and I carried you in here." She paused, "You're real heavy, David."

David smiled at her comment and began to sit up. He rubbed his eyes and looked around the room. Torches and candles burned, and the stench of blood hung in the air. The room was cold and damp, its walls made of stone. Ripped curtains thrashed back and forth, as the cracked windows failed to keep the wind out.

They couldn't have known it, but they were inside the same room that had housed Octavia and Luna's final battle.

Luna's corpse had been removed, though whether it had been buried or desecrated, well, that was another mystery never to be solved.

"You've been awake for a while," David realized. He shifted his weight and tried to stand up, but Veronica placed a firm arm across his chest, forcing him to remain seated at her side. Their backs were supported by a dank wall.

"Just stay put for now," she said. "You're injured. I don't know if you hit your head when you fell down from the gas - or maybe whoever threw you out of the bunker caused it. But you're bleeding and there's something wrong with your leg. And you took a long time to wake up; I think your body isn't going to do everything you want it to."

"I have to find Nathan," David said, his voice taking on a tone somewhere between resolute and frantic. Now that he had all the pieces, he was resolved to take action. "I have to find my son!" He tried to move but a sharp pain stabbed at him.

"Relax. What do you think I've been doing since I woke up? He's not here, David. He has to be one of the chosen. Inside the bunker," she added, with emphasis.

"How do you know that? How long have you been awake? Did you search all of Polis with me on your back?"

"Sure felt like it," Veronica said. She took a breath. "I'll tell you everything. I've been awake for hours. You can imagine the chaos when I woke up. Plenty of angry grounders out, and half-conscious members of Skaikru scattered all around. Some of them had been hacked to death by the time I woke up."

David tensed up and Veronica saw something she'd never before seen in his eyes – panic. "No, no," she continued, gripping his arm. "I looked. I checked. I looked at each one. **He wasn't among them**," she said slowly, her voice firm as steel. "You know I don't have any family and you're one of my closest friends. I spent the last few hours looking for you and making sure Nathan wasn't here – and dodging grounders and acid rain. I finally found you. My guess is that someone dragged you somewhere and maybe planned to hurt you or something - but gave up or got scared off at some point. I picked you up and continued my sweep, making sure Nathan was not here.

"Eventually," Veronica continued, "a few others members of the guard found me and joined me – it was Nichols and Arakawa and Major Costa. We covered more ground – and Costa carried you for a bit, thank god. We all kept looking for Nathan. We saw no trace of him. We asked any conscious member of Skaikru if they'd seen him and no one had. **He's inside the bunker, David – he's one of the chosen,"** she said, again with as much firmness and passion as she could muster despite her exhaustion.

Veronica took a break and coughed. "I sure wish we had some water. My throat's so dry. Thank goodness they trained us to endure this kind of crap." She paused. David's eyes were still glued to her. He looked less frantic but he clearly would demand every last bit of information she could provide. She didn't blame him. She had chosen never to become a parent, but she understood the love and devotion that David felt towards Nathan.

"What else can you tell me?" David asked.

"We got split up when the rain started up again. I was carrying you at that point. So we ended up inside here. I don't know where the other three are now." Veronica didn't add that not long before David had woken up, two grounders had gotten in through a window and had been clearly out for blood. They'd had murderous looks on their faces, nearly drooling at the prospect of killing Skaikru people. Skaikru who had brought so much strife into their lives. Veronica understood why they felt such hatred, their desire for revenge. She could smell their burnt flesh, the work of the acid rain. She had been forced to use precious bullets on them. Later she had unceremoniously tossed some of the ragged curtains over their corpses, though she knew David would see them near the windows soon enough.

David rubbed his head. He needed to retrace Skaikru's steps and think this through again. "So they decided to forget about the lottery system. Jaha and Kane. They must've used Clarke's list to determine who stayed." Once again his body tensed and he pitched forward, as if to scramble to his feet. "Nathan wasn't on that list, Veronica."

"I know," she said, her arm firmly pressing on David, insisting he remain seated. Once the list had been read over the speakers to Skaikru, people had talked about it constantly, even those who didn't care to gossip. This, after all, was not mere gossip but rather life and death. "He wasn't on the list, but plenty of people who **were** on the list were not inside that bunker. At least six or seven young people on the list stayed behind with that moron Jasper Jordan. Remember? Clarke herself wasn't there. Neither was Bellamy or Raven. We went over this, while you were out, while we were searching. You know Costa's mind is like a calculator, he remembers everything."

"So that's – what? – nine or ten spots?" David asked, trying to keep his breath in check. "Why would they give one to Nathan? And as good as you and Costa are, you couldn't possibly have located all 370 of us who were taken out of the bunker."

"It felt like it though," Veronica said. She paused and began again. "David, we looked and looked. Nathan's not here. We all feel confident that he made the cut for the bunker. You ask why would they keep him? You did tell me back in the bunker that you pleaded for him with Kane and Jaha. And Kane and Jaha think very highly of you. Nathan's a young, fit, strong, guard. With all those grounders in that bunker, they know they need good soldiers." She paused and, this time, did not reign in her bitterness. "Not old soldiers like us." Veronica continued, "When we were searching, we didn't see any young people. Nathan's also one of The 100 – I don't know, maybe they felt some guilt over that. And you did say he's in a relationship with Dr. Jackson now, right? I'd want to keep one of my only doctors happy."

Veronica looked into David's eyes and at last saw something in them, a softening. An acceptance. "So maybe he really is okay," David murmured. "Put all together, that might be enough to save him." His eyes narrowed and he suddenly reached for her arm and grabbed it like a vice. "Veronica. Tell me this. You've always been creative. You've always loved stories. Everything you said just now, this wasn't some grand story to placate me, was it? You didn't see Nathan dead out here and come up with this story so I'd feel better? Please, Veronica, tell me the truth. I will forgive you if you were lying just now to make me feel better. I will forgive you, I just need to know the truth!" With those last words, his voice had nearly reached a fevered pitch.

"I swear it!" she insisted, gritting her teeth and returning his grip, looking him in the eyes. "I told you the truth today, every word. I swear on my mother's memory, my father's memory, my grandparents' memories. I swear on the memory of anyone I've ever cared about."

David exhaled and loosened his grip. "Okay," he breathed, his voice quieter now. "I believe you." He looked down. "Nathan will be so sad when he wakes up and realizes what happened. He's probably already awake now."

"Yes," Veronica acknowledged. "But at least he has Jackson. He reminds me of you – Jackson, I mean. You're both gentle and wise. He'll help Nathan get through this."

David nodded. "You're right. Thank goodness."

"You should be honored. Your son chose a partner who's similar to his dad in a lot of ways," Veronica said, with a shadow of a smile on her face.

David's head now felt better, but he couldn't return Veronica's smile. He acknowledged her sentiment with another nod, and then closed his eyes and tilted his head back. "That must have been hard for Jaha and Kane," he said quietly and sincerely, after a bit. "Having to cast us out."

"I'm glad you feel sympathy for them," Veronica muttered. "I'd twist their worthless necks if I could. Gave my whole damn life in service to the guard, and this is what I get."

"They had no good choices. If I were in their place, I would've done what they did. Save doctors and engineers and young people."

Veronica bit her lip. She wanted to say 'You tell yourself that if it makes you feel better', but what would have been the point? She remained quiet.

David, feeling better, began to scan the room. "What's that in the corner by the window?"

"We had some unfriendly visitors," Veronica said flatly. "I still have my handgun, and two bullets left. I don't know what happened to yours – when I found you, it was gone."

David was quiet for several moments. He adjusted his seating position and visibly winced. "So what do we do now?" he asked.

"Well, David, you know I'm your friend till the end. If you want to go back out there as soon as the rain is over, then we go back out and look. But you are injured, and I haven't had water for hours – I'm not sure how far I can carry you. And there's no guarantee that we won't meet the point of a sword as soon as we open that door. Also, I don't know what those sounds outside mean but it sounds to me like the death wave will be here very soon."

David stopped to listen, straining to hear. He had only noticed the rain before but there was, indeed, a more insidious sound outside, something deep and low and eerie that seemed to slowly build and encroach. And now that he listened harder, David could also hear human screams and wails in the din.

"And doing further searches would be pointless, since Nathan is safe inside that bunker," David concluded.

"Exactly."

They looked at each other. Both knew what they needed to do next. There were no other options and no point in delaying the inevitable.

"Should we say any final words?" David asked. "Talk about any last regrets? Or talk about what made us happiest?"

Veronica shrugged. "A minute ago you said I was creative, but right now all I'm thinking is something my dad said before he was floated. Life's a bitch and then you die."

"Veronica."

"Well, look at the pile of shit we're in!" Veronica exclaimed, spreading her arms and tilting her head up to the heavens. "We were loyal guards all our lives, but it didn't matter. Born inside a decaying tin can in space, plummeted to the ground when the tin can gave up, thrown out of the one safe place on the planet, and now about to burn up because the people who lived here generations ago were idiots."

David shook his head. "You know I'm not as cynical as you."

"It's your only flaw. You were always too damn good for this world." She paused. "So **you **say something good – or something meaningful. I sure can't."

David tilted his head back a bit and closed his eyes for a moment. "I was proud to serve with you, Veronica. Your friendship made every day easier, and I am lucky that my last moments are with you." He paused and swallowed. "And I – I look forward to seeing my wife soon. Nate was just a toddler when she passed." David's voice cracked, but he continued. "I did my best to raise him without her, and I'm so proud of the man he became. Nate will get through this and he will be just fine."

"Thanks, asshole, I'm crying now," Veronica said, tears in her eyes. She pulled him into a hug.

After Veronica leaned out of the hug, the duo exchanged a look. She reached for her handgun. She confirmed, "Two bullets. Do you want to go first or should I?"

"Let's say the Traveler's Blessing together first."

**THE END**


End file.
